To make a sweeping generalization like that is ridiculous. My fiance (white) has a well rounded family and she is one of five children. Having that many kids would want to make anyone do several hours of yoga stretches, but I have never seen so much love and compassion for one another. Her and her brother's and sister's friends are similar in the sense that they come from families who love to spend time with their children as they do in return, to the extent that kids do anyway. I expect more from you than to make a general statement about whites and blacks.

Nah, I don't see a connection. My wife and I are both white, and she talks to her mother once or twice PER DAY and her dad at least once per week. My parents are divorced, and I'm estranged from my mom, but I talk to my dad about 1 time per week. Not because I don't like the guy, but because I don't have a need to talk to him more than that. No big deal for either of us. I think it just varies by family.

Cimbi is Dominican?

i wonder if it has something less to do with race, and more to do with where your family comes from. I dont know where your family is from, or if you're "wasps" so to speak, but I'm second generation to this country, and as my family is made up of immigrants or children of immigrants, and for us there's a very strong emphasis on family - similar to how you describe Cheryl.

my experience has always been that the longer your family has been in america, the worse the kids talk to their parents. when people come to this country they have only family and community to sustain them, but as they "assimilate" those bonds break apart.

has anyone seen the movie "Avalon"?

but the exception to this rule i have always found is with black families. even though they've been in this country for generations, the emphasis on family has not broken. maybe it's because of the struggles they've had to endure. maybe that has forced them to stick together.

on the other hand, maybe it's the prevelance of the strong female in black culture...where as white culture can be very male or father dominated. black mother's demand respect from their children (much the same way immigrant women do) and that respect fosters a stronger bond that is supported throughout their lifetime by love and respect.

i dunno...just an alternative theory.

I can't speak for everyone, but I'm white and over the weekend I went to my grandfather's 90th b-day party, my sister's graduation party, and a family reunion on my mom's side. I have a big family and talk to them for at least 90 minutes a day.

Maybe it is really a gender thing. Moms and daughters tend to fight a lot, but I feel like sons are more likely to talk to their family far less. Although this doesn't mean they aren't as close, it may be what you are noticing, since I assume you probably have more male friends and your wife more female friends. Of course every stereotype is meant to be broken as my boyfriend (who is Haitian) talks to his parents all the time, though admittedly less than I talk to mine.

I don't think it can be a black/white thing, because look at the Midwest, it's pretty much all white people and family is big there to say the least.

Pretty interesting post. I don't think that it's always a "race" thing. I am white but have a very tight knit family (including aunts, uncles, cousins, etc). However, on a somewhat related note, I recently witnessed an impromptu social experiment. A friend of mine (also white) and myself sat on a stoop in our Harlem neighborhood and as we often do, said "hello" to passerby's. Interestingly enough, everyone of color (black or latino) said "hello" back, but all the white people just kept on walking! Pretty sad.

that's so funny joe. i have experienced the same thing! but i will tell you that i am white and i make a big effort to be friendly to my black neighbors and say hello when passing on the street, but when a white person passes i revert to my "downtown" face and ignore them. i have no idea why... too funny.

Joe and Anon,

My experience also, I really like the black neighbors on my block (I'm white) and conversely find Harlem whites just so ready to ignore.

My block downtown was defined by the stores and services, however my block in Harlem is defined by neighbors and local characters, much better I think.

Sad but I predict Harlem may ultimately become a land where everyone makes an effort to phase out their neighbors, just like downtown, I really hope Harlem does not lose it’s soul.

This is an interesting feature of block living in Harlem that downtown folk do not get.

Im white and will take whatever positive social interaction I can get on my block (145 and Fred D). Usually my day is filled with sidelong, distrustful glances from black folks and the usual downtown inattention from white folks.

Unfortunately, I have an eye condition where I don't actually "see" Latinos or Asians, so it's tough for me to say how they react to me. It seemed to start when I moved to Harlem a couple years ago - black and white I see alright, but other colors just bleed away. Strange.

No, I'm black, and my grandmother annoys me. For the record, she's biracial (black + white) so I don't know what kind of theory one can float from that. I see people for what they are- human beings, because personality and race are two totally different things. People are really nice, or their not, and it has nothing to do with color.